survival mechanisms

Why BIPOC Children of Immigrants May Benefit from Therapists with Shared Lived Experience

Why BIPOC Children of Immigrants May Benefit from Therapists with Shared Lived Experience

Unique Experiences in Therapy

One thing I hear often as a therapist who works with a lot of queer folks is that they don’t want to have to explain so much in therapy, and I think this is a common experience amongst children of immigrants, as well. Therapists who aren’t children of immigrants might not understand the nuances of how cultural beliefs impact our ideas around “healthy” relationships, and instead label clients as codependent or even delusional when our values don’t align with those of Western ideas of what it means to be well…

Are You Trading Authenticity for Attachment?

Are You Trading Authenticity for Attachment?

I felt this uncomfortable sensation in my body. I found myself striving yet resisting at the same time. The resistance I felt internally was my body actively trying to pull back from that striving. That resistance was my authenticity. At that moment, I was around people who were not a part of my tribe, and it was very hard for me to relate to them. I felt my primitive brain trying to strive to fit in for survival. Exclusion can feel like a survival level threat, and the pain from that experience can feel physical — so of course my body was fighting to avoid that pain. I then checked in with my body, and I felt myself needing a good talk with someone who I felt who got what I was experiencing. I needed some advice. I needed someone to help remove the discomfort. The more I sat with the emotion, I recognized I needed to connect with myself. No one would know how to interpret my feelings in that moment better than me. What was that anxious feeling trying to express to me? I then reached into my Resilience Toolkit and pulled out the Insight Timer app from my phone. Upon scrolling, I noticed the track, “The Power of Inclusion and Authenticity” by Lynn Fraser Stillpoint. Within 5 mins, I felt my body take a deep breath. My body felt understood.