I can’t say I know any woman who at some point in her life hasn’t been able to identify herself as a wounded woman. By wounded I mean hurt…deeply. My truth is I myself have spent much of my life in an out of this identity, this reality, fighting with this label. I know that like labels wounds come in different shapes and sizes with different branding…and I’ve seen plenty.
Physical and emotional self-harm from women carrying visible and invisible scars weighted by parental pain. Abused and traumatized women so warped by their own reality they unconsciously perpetrate wounds on their own sons and daughters. And women so hungry for love and so attracted to the wrong kind of love they can barely remember their names. I relate to them intimately.
Like many wounded women, my own wounds on the surface are tied to some man. Father’s and father types, lovers, brothers “friends”. Trauma, break-ups, abuse. Miscommunication and misunderstanding. Invisibility and denial. But when viewed beneath the surface what’s revealed is insecurity and fear. Fear of abandonment, rejection, neglect. Fear of spending the rest of my life alone…of being lonely…always a girlfriend but never a wife. Even deeper however is a truth shared by many. A core belief that I’m not good enough.
Like many wounded women, I have learned to live around this pain. Fully functioning and able to accomplish most of my activities of daily living, stunted occasionally by my wounds but quite honestly, I have a pretty good life. In January of 2018, I gifted myself with individual therapy. Yes, therapy for the therapist. Gifted because I wasn’t in crisis, I’m not in crisis, but I did recognize the need to expand my joy and to address my wounds. My own therapy has at times left me raw, open and vulnerable and staring in the face of insecurities, fears and wounds that I had forgotten existed. But it’s also given me an invaluable respect, regard and perspective. Insight. Insight on the capacity of wounded women. On their capacity to find the strength and courage to find their way. On their capacity to learn how to stand in truth. On their capacity to reclaim their power. And ultimately on their capacity to make and boldly walk in the decision to heal…