self love

Self Compassion: Building the House You Live In

Self Compassion: Building the House You Live In

“A word after a word after a word is power.” Margaret Atwood tells us. “You cannot build joy on a feeling of self-loathing.” teaches Ram Dass. “The words you speak become the house you live in.” writes the poet Hafiz. All three offer the wisdom that how we speak to and about ourselves influences the ways we show up in the world and engage with others. Language helps us to make meaning of our experiences. When the stories we tell about ourselves are full of demeaning, unkind, and unsympathetic words and phrases, it increases our stress levels, makes it more difficult for us to be kind and compassionate to others, and over time, significantly decreases our motivation to actually make positive changes in our lives (Neff, 2011). 

Self-Compassion? Is it REALLY Necessary?

Self-Compassion? Is it REALLY Necessary?

We all encounter uncomfortable spaces, personal and professional challenges, and emotionally shattering situations that stretch the limits of who we are, where we’re going, what we look like afterward. Even with perseverance, the positive self-image, and self-talk that once characterized our being may be distorted or nonexistent. As we begin to put the pieces of ourselves back into place, self-compassion is necessary to accept our present selves and transition to the person we desire to be. How can we begin to show ourselves compassion both consistently and effectively? How does this practice establish the foundation for healthy, caring relationships with others in our world? 

Anger and Self - Compassion

Anger and Self - Compassion

What does this image bring you? Beginner's Mind? Curiosity? Non-Judgement? Self Acceptance? Peace? Good. Notice your body. Notice your breathing. Greater Mindfulness is the intention. Today I invite you to a 5 min Anger de-escalation exercise. Close your eyes. Today I want you to take yourself to an upsetting situation where you did not feel safe.

What is Self-Compassion?

What is Self-Compassion?

Self Compassion is recognizing when we’re stressed or struggling without being judgemental or over-reading. Everyone has hurdles in life, and our day to day activities can bring along stress and anxiety that we sometimes blame ourselves for. Being supportive and understanding towards ourselves when we are having a hard time, rather than being harshly self critical can help our self esteem long term. By remembering that everyone makes mistakes and experiences difficulties, we realize that we are not alone and that there is room for everyone to grow.

Self- Acceptance: The Person in the Mirror

Self- Acceptance: The Person in the Mirror

Low self-esteem/self-worth is a manifestation of the lack of acceptance or rejection of oneself. Unfortunately, I have been all too familiar with this concept, and it is an area in that I continue performing soul work within. Recently, I experienced an epiphany regarding acceptance in my own life around acceptance that I would like to share with the reader. 

I am not the Source of your Supply: Identifying Needs for a Healthy Relationship...

When I attracted a narcissistic relationship in my past, I was in a state of blind awareness of myself. As a naturally hypersensitive personality, I’ve been described as kind and know that I truly care for people. He needed a person like me to help make…

The Relationship Spectrum: Distinguishing between Healthy, Unhealthy, or Abusive Relationships. 

Everyone deserves healthy relationships. It is important to understand that, “All relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive, with unhealthy relationships somewhere in the middle,” (Domestic Violence Hotline, 2020). It's important to be knowledgeable…

Teaching Adolescents about Healthy Relationships

When I first heard the term “healthy relationships,” I immediately thought about romantic relationships. However, there are so many different kinds of relationships that we interact with on a daily basis that can be considered healthy…

The Soul of Self LOVE

The Soul of Self LOVE

The alarm goes off at 4:00 am. Eyes slowly blink to awareness. Wide yawns welcome another day. Yet instead of the usual rising that eases me out of bed, there’s a familiar pain–a heaviness that arrests me to immobility.

Deep breaths offer no relief. Rather, they only confirm the grip of weight that aggressively shoots across my back.

Loving Self Acceptance

Loving Self Acceptance

On Sunday I danced in my sports bra, leggings and heels.

I guess I should start by saying I’m on a dance team. A ladies SALSA dance team with some BADASS Bitches!!! Let’s not forget to mention I am the oldest member of the dance team in my WELL seasoned, RIPE like a PEACH ripe, age of 43. I won’t leave out that I am the mother of 1 and a possible teenagers not for sympathy or pity because MY BODY is BEAUTIFUL…

The Processing Process

The Processing Process

I spent a number of years “collecting data” on how to live. Figuring most things out by trial and error. Making my way the best way I knew how...barely. As I started to get more deliberate about my healing journey and try new things, processes and techniques began to show up and many have proven to be effective in bringing forth clarity and optimizing healing.

3 Techniques to Aid in Forgiveness: Part 1

3 Techniques to Aid in Forgiveness: Part 1

I recently had the honor and privilege of visiting with my Dad and both my Maternal and Paternal Grandmothers ages 85 and 89 respectively. My Dad who is 65 years old, had been in the hospital for several days experiencing some issues with digestion, a complication we think…